but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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