I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We need to get me chipped asap
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
