She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
