I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
