She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
