hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
