I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
