I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
