I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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