dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
