I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
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Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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