and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
