Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
