i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
