Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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