Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
