2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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