Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
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I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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