Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
