i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
