And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Can i not drive my cunt home
Can Purell be used as lube?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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