So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
