so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
