I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
