Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
