I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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