i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
