I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
