i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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