this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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