You just made me feel so damn special
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
