you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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