hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
