I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
