I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
