When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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