Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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