im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize