When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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