Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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