We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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