I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
