Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize