I wish I only lived at night.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
