just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
