I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
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Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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