Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am spending my child support on dildos
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
