Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
