I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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