Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
