My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
