I seem to have left my pride at pride
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
