can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
