Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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