He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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