Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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