I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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