Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
