I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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