I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
