That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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