Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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