My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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