Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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