my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
