I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
