i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize