would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Still dying that you shit outside
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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