Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
